Trailer Park Nirvana image created by Stefany Kleeschulte.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Doing Good at Attracting Bad

It wasn't even as long as a thought. More like a palmetto bug tickled my brain with an antenna then scurried away, the image was that brief. I want the flu. No one wants the flu. What I wanted was an excuse to stay in bed all day and eat fudge (the thing I crave when I'm really sick). I wanted to take NyQuil and get that funny feeling along my scalp. I even thought I liked that tingly achy feeling.

I knew as soon as that mini-thought flashed in my mini-brain I'd get sick and sure enough, the next day at noon it hit. That achy feeling started in my fingers, my toes and then wham! all through my body. I was pretty much confined to bed and bathroom (thank god they're in such close proximity). I had no fudge, no NyQuil and my body hurt more than I remembered it would. I was too hot, too cold. Having the flu sucked.

That is how the Law of Attraction works for me. I usually get what I want but with some glitch. Years ago when I first moved to the Oregon Coast I drove down a tiny dead-end street on the cliff overlooking the Pacific. One of those fleeting image thingies: I'd like to live here. Then not too long after that I was lying in bed and I thought I'd like a lover who shows up for a few hours then leaves. Guess what I got? The longest on-again/off-again relationship of my life with the most non-committal man who lived on that tiny dead-end street.

A few years back I put images of things I want to manifest in a box then put the box away. I wanted an adobe house and a published book and a man with a cowboy hat. The only thing to materialize (so far) was the man and he happened to have a meth addiction which made him schizophrenic and therefore not very good boyfriend material.

Maybe, just maybe, life-changing events take longer to materialize. It took almost twenty years for me to finally go off and experience life in the desert, a craving that was sparked in 1987 with the movie "Bagdad Cafe." It was a desire I carried but it wasn't in the forefront of my thoughts. More like it was tucked away in some back pocket and then when the time was right my desert script was resurrected and there I was living out that desire.

But I also have conflicting feelings about this whole Law of Attraction thing. It seems not to be readily available to people living in third world countries. And I have a problem with the idea that you may have caused your own cancer or somehow wanted that head-on collision. On the other hand I do believe if you change your thoughts toward a positive direction, your life will follow. Attitude is one thing I know we have control over, the one thing we have power to change.

I finally made it to the computer and sent Manny a message. His pattern is to finish work, shower, log on to Facebook. When he showed up I sent him to Flo's with a note asking if she had NyQuil. She didn't but she hopped in her quad and drove to the farmacia for Tabcin Noche. Manny filled my water pitcher, locked the bodega because with you-know-who out of rehab and back on drugs I can't leave a key in the bodega door.

The worst was over within 24 hours. When I got the flu I said okay, guys, thanks for this but it's gonna be the 24-hour variety, okay? And it was.

1 comment:

  1. Thank you my dear, keep an eye out for the rest of it :)

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