So You Want a Latin Lover (Mexico Tip Numero Cuatro)

You're a gringo - big, fat, nose hairs so long they get stuck in your teeth, with boring stories and a know-it-all attitude - but wait! Who's that hot chick on your arm? Why it's your Mexican girlfriend, your novia, your amor, your corazon.

This town may be lacking in toilet paper, cheddar cheese and even avocados but it appears to be brimming with young women who will latch onto a gringo, any gringo. He doesn't have to be rich; just rich enough to help her out - buy her dresses and shoes and maybe a washing machine for her madre.

In the summer, when the gringo population thinned out, there were only three men at happy hour at the trailer park and all three were married with wives in the States and all three had novias. They were so damn cocky about it. Puffed out their chests while they downed little blue pills followed by shots of gin or whiskey.

If the tables were turned - if it were me and Flo and another gringa with young Mexican boyfriends (who we spent money on) those same men would say we were pathetic losers being used for our wallets.

It is very possible that the three of us gringas - me, Flo and our imaginary friend - could have Latin Lovers too no matter that we are senior citizens. We are poor by expat standards but still way better off than our barrio neighbors. I've been hit on by men from all age groups - from the 20s on up - but have declined all offers (although I may have to give in before I'm too old to ever have sex again).

The one hitch in the Latin lover plan is that if you are a woman who is looking for a well-off Mexican - at least one who can support himself and is not married - then the pickings are slim here in Kino. You really need to be in a bigger city, a resort town maybe.

In Kino you'll not find one of these....

or these....

but a woman can always dream....